So, when I started this, it seemed like a good idea. You know, drink beer, listen to metal, and rank the top five albums of all time. Then it became kind of like when you’re walking by oh, I don’t know, Cluck U, and you see their wing challenge.
“No problem, I’ve got this.”

Yeah, they were hotter than they looked.

8 wings in, your stomach burns, your nostrils burn, and you’re worried about what the other end is going to feel like in the morning.Well, much like eating an insanely hot pile of chicken wings, and about halfway through you realize what a stupid idea it was, there I was with my metal list.

We all know a great top five. We all probably agree on a top five. We “know” what should be #1, so why make another list? Ah, but, I’ll be drinking beer! Meh. Everyone drinks beer, right? Good beer? Not so much, I suppose. Anyway, here’s a recacp:
#5 – Paranoid, Black Sabbath (Firestone Parabola)
#4 – Cowboys From Hell, Pantera (Avery, uh, everything)
#3 – The Number of the Beast, Iron Maiden (Avery Mephistopheles)
#2 – Rust in Peace, Megadeth (Dry Dock Bligh Barleywine 2011)

Pretty intense, right? So you’re thinking that Master of Puppets should be #1. Awfully predictable. Well, I’ll tell you why it won’t be #1. You’ll disagree, and you’ll be mad about it, and you’ll spend your night being angry about the fact that someone on the internet is wrong. Eat me.

I poured some for the missus, because sharing means caring.

But before I point out the number one classic metal album of all time, I’ll let you know about the #1 craft beer of all time. (Right now) What does one pair with such a masterpiece of an album? Well, if you live in the Midwest, I know what your answer would be…but I don’t live in the Midwest. Oh, wait, what’s this? That’s right. I’ve got one! (Multiple, actually.)
That’s right. Some Dark Lord Imperial Stout, from 3Floyds. Where did I get this? Dark Lord Day, of course! Why do I like Dark Lord Day? Well, I’ve always been a fan of Snape, but that’s beside the point. It’s a Midwest gathering of beer geeks and metal. That’s me! I’m a beer geek AND I like metal.
Why is Dark Lord so tasty? Well, if you like a bomber of viscous, sludgy beer, like listening to Baroness, then, my friend, this is the beer for you. If you like a full-bodied beer that masks its 15% abv well, then this is for you. If you’re a fan of silky smooth cherry sweetness, well…you get the idea. It’s about as well made as it can be.
Says the missus, “It’s like a strange, dark cocktail.”

But anyway, back to the album(s):

Yeah, it would have been easy to go with Master of Puppets. I mean, look at the album cover, for one. The contrasting colors, the message delivered by the field of white crosses, while And Justice for All sticks with the whole “Justice is Blind” theme. I posit that the cover hits at a deeper, more intellectual level. At least, that’s what I’m thinking about 1/3 of the way through the bottle of DL.
Hey, is that Jenna Louise-Coleman on TV? Wow. Huh. There might be another duel coming: JLC vs. Karen Gillan. (No contest for now, gingers trump all.) We can all agree that David Tennant was a better doctor than Matt Smith (right?), although the latter, like myself, has done a great job of bringing bow ties back. “Bow ties are cool.”
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Karen Gillan.

Gratuitous Karen Gillan shot.

No, wait, Metallica. And Justice For All
Here are the reasons why I think it’s better:

• It’s musically more complex
• Song length (yes. Admittedly, I am a prog fan, but you can’t shorten them without removing their essence.)
• Conceptual Uniformity
• One

Blackened starts out rather soothing, then slams into quick intensity. You’re on a ride the entire way through (as I listen to “Harvester of Sorrow”, I wonder if it is my favorite on this album? No, I think it’s “Frayed Ends of Sanity”…I think) until you hit “To Live Is To Die”, and well, you all know about that one, so I won’t go into it. “Dyers Eve” is a great finish to the album. Ignore the production, because this is the eponymous classic metal album. (Like that? I didn’t even use the thesaurus.) This is not a thrash album. No, you can argue that Master of Puppets was the quintessential thrash album, but, And Justice For All is the #1 classic metal album of all time.

Well, that’s all for this list. Will I make another list? I dunno, maybe someone can give me some inspiration. As for the future, there’s some blogging to be done about some brewery’s 2nd birthday, cooking ribs, and a black metal pig roast.
Stay tuned!